" Am invatat cat de aproape pot ajunge doi oameni...Incorect, inca invat. Cat de apropiati trup-suflet, fizic, psihic. Cat de frumos poate fi sa ai pe cineva care te intelege si vorbeste , nu pentru a umple un gol, ci pentru a-mi influenta gandirea intr-o conversatie normala. Mi-ai fost profesor cand aveam nevoie de explicatii si sugestii, ti-am fost eleva cand iti ascultam vorbele si bagam la cap.
Iubesc ca nu a fost totul o bataie de cap, dar iubesc si pentru ca nu a mers totul atat de usor incat sa plictiseasca.
Am avut timp sa facem multe, multe s-au si petrecut, desi nu destule, destule n-ar fi niciodata.
Nu a fost moment de ceartasau nor negru deasupra intelegerii noastre, desi se spune ca intr-o relatie perfecta intra acele componente negative- cei ce spun, traiesc intr-un nor negru, si nu este nevoie de perfectiune. Perfectiunea este falsa. Fericirea e de baza.
N-am mai scris poeme, penru ca sunt false, n-am mai scris povesti pentru ca nu-si au rostul. Dar iti scriu realitati, din lipsa de subtilitate si imi bag piciorul in fanteziile din trecu care momentan ori ma fac sa rad ori ma adorm.
Urasc cand credeam ca iubesc si eram cu usurinta aburita de gesturi goale. Prezentul imi deschide ochii sa vad, aceasi persoana care presupus o iubeam, in gesturi clare, pline de minciuni si fermecatoare absurditati, cu zambete false si atingeri ce imi provoaca dispretul. Vad bucuroasa adevarul, oricat de mult mi l-as fi dorit de la inceput. Cum pot iubi o persoana cu care nu am amintiri, cu care nu am impartasit un zambet sau o lacrima.
Dar am avut norocul sa te privesc sincer din prima zi, si desi am fost socata la aflarea micilor noutati, toate-au fost placute.
Nu traiesc intr-o lume fictiva, si realizez ca toti avem un viitor de care sa ne ingrijim, il astept pe al meu si te sustin si indrumez in al tau.
E inevitabil.
Life goes on, with us leading.
Nu are rost sa ne tinem inapoi , nimeni nu are nevoie de astfel de torturacand stim ce urmeaza. Iubirea fortata e cea mai urata fatada a unei relatii. O vad zilnic. Niciodata pe pielea mea.
Shorty loves you
(never forget that)"
vineri, 15 februarie 2008
5 Martie 2007
" Cand m-am nascut eram un nimeni, am fost lasata sa-mi aleg singura destinul, au fost lasate asupra mea toate deciziile, acum sunt cineva. Tot singura sa-mi construiesc un destin, depind de mine deciziile facute, dar sentimentul de libertate ma bucura si ma sperie in acelasi timp. De majoritatea inca sunt considerata un nimeni, dar de cei mai importanti sunt cineva, atat conteaza acum.
In rest sunt bine si sunt fericita in orice moment al fiecarei zile. Nu fi pacalit cand te uiti la expresia fetei mele, ascund multe lucruri; dar ascund pentru ca valorific ceea ce semnifica. Nu las sa ma descoperi, doar daca si tu esti cineva in ochii mei, si cel mai important eu sunt un cineva in ochii tai. Dar nu te astepta sa ma rezolvi, sunt o problema dificila. Vei stii cand iti vorbesc daca te las in inima mea, si daca nu realizezi nu sunt cineva pentru tine si nu sunt considerata de mare interes."
In rest sunt bine si sunt fericita in orice moment al fiecarei zile. Nu fi pacalit cand te uiti la expresia fetei mele, ascund multe lucruri; dar ascund pentru ca valorific ceea ce semnifica. Nu las sa ma descoperi, doar daca si tu esti cineva in ochii mei, si cel mai important eu sunt un cineva in ochii tai. Dar nu te astepta sa ma rezolvi, sunt o problema dificila. Vei stii cand iti vorbesc daca te las in inima mea, si daca nu realizezi nu sunt cineva pentru tine si nu sunt considerata de mare interes."
8 March 2007
" I remember how it was to call you sweetheart
I remember who it was that made me blush
Do you remember it all as well as I do?
You said you'll never forget the one that taught you love...
It was a secret romance
It was something that could have lasted
It could have been much easier
It could've been a happy ending
Will you remember it as well as I?
Sweet was our last kiss
Bitter one our last talk
Which one will you remember?
The first sunrise we watched
The last time...the sun set.
Do you remember it all as well as I?
We'll never play in the sand
Or throw each other in the snow
(once more)
I smile for these memories
I hope they're long lasting for you too
I'll love the one you've always been
I'll forget the time I could've screamed
Let's make the good times last.
I'll always care about you
Always praise what you taught me
You've been my number one in all
I'll see you as a friend
I'll always be the one to count on
But let's try to be just friends
Let's make it all seem right."
I remember who it was that made me blush
Do you remember it all as well as I do?
You said you'll never forget the one that taught you love...
It was a secret romance
It was something that could have lasted
It could have been much easier
It could've been a happy ending
Will you remember it as well as I?
Sweet was our last kiss
Bitter one our last talk
Which one will you remember?
The first sunrise we watched
The last time...the sun set.
Do you remember it all as well as I?
We'll never play in the sand
Or throw each other in the snow
(once more)
I smile for these memories
I hope they're long lasting for you too
I'll love the one you've always been
I'll forget the time I could've screamed
Let's make the good times last.
I'll always care about you
Always praise what you taught me
You've been my number one in all
I'll see you as a friend
I'll always be the one to count on
But let's try to be just friends
Let's make it all seem right."
March 10 2007
"Advises to keep me awake and knowing of the truth of life, or the reality of it - or just to make me feel better:D. Optimistic little me never dies.
- ENJOY THE POWER AND BEAUTY OF YOUR YOUTH
- DON'T WORRY ABOUT YOUR FUTURE - it will come either way
- DO ONE THING EVERYDAY THAT SCARES YOU
- SING!
- DON'T BE CARELESS ABOUT OTHERS HEARTS
- YOU DON'T HAVE TO CARE ABOUT THE ONES THAT ARE CARELESS WITH YOUR HEART
- DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME WITH JEALOUSY ( you are jealous only if you are selfish, if you love someone, you set them free, and you are happy if they are happy)
- SOMETIMES YOU ARE BEHIND, SOMETIMES YOU ARE AHEAD, THE RACE IS LONG, BUT IN THE END IT'S ONLY WITH YOU
- REMEMBER THE COMPLIMENTS ( but also appreciate every one with a thank you)
- FORGET THE INSULTS
- DON'T FEEL GUILTY IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT TO DO AND WHERE YOU WANT TO GO WITH YOUR LIFE ( nobody really does, and if they have an idea, they change it or it gets changed with the passing of time)
- WHATEVER YOU DO DON'T CONGRATULATE YOURSELF TOO MUCH
- DON'T TURN ON YOURSELF
- ENJOY YOUR BODY, USE IT IN ANY WAY POSSIBLE, DON'T BE AFRAID OF IT OR OF WHAT OTHERS MIGHT SAY ABOUT IT - IT'S THE MOST MAGNIFICENT INSTRUMENT YOU WILL EVER OWN!
- DANCE!
- KNOW THE RULES - EVEN IF YOU DON'T RESPECT THEM
- KNOW YOUR PARENTS...YOU DON'T KNOW WHEN THEY'LL BE GONE
- BE GOOD TO YOUR SIBLINGS - THEY ARE YOUR CONNEXION WITH YOUR PAST, AND PROBABLY THE ONLY ONES THAT WILL BE THERE FOR YOU IN THE FUTURE
- UNDERSTAND THAT FRIENDS COME AND GO, THERE ARE FEW THOSE PRECIOUS THAT YOU SHOULD HANG ON TO
- TRAVEL!
- ACCEPT SOME HURTFUL TRUTHS
- YOU TOO WILL GET OLD
- RESPECT OTHERS - OR YOU WILL NOT BE SEEN AS A PERSON THAT DESERVES RESPECT
- DON'T MESS WITH YOUR HAIR - OR BY THE AGE OF 40 YOU WILL LOOK LIKE 85
- BE CAREFUL OF THE ADVICES YOU FOLLOW- BUT BE PATIENT WITH THE ONES THAT OFFER THEM
- DON'T HIT FIRST- VIOLENCE DOESN'T LEAD TO A RESULT ( but if you get hit, hit back, and hit twice, there was no reason in the first place to be hit)
- A WORD CAN HURT MORE THAT A PUNCH
- LOVE!
- FALL IN LOVE - AT LEAST ONCE IN YOUR LIFE, THE FEELING IS THE ONLY ONE CAPABLE TO DRUG YOU IN SUCH A MANNER - BUT LEARN TO LET GO UNTIL IT'S TOO LATE IF SOMETHING DOESN'T SEEM TO GET RESOLVED - IF NOT, YOU WILL BE CAUGHT FOR GOOD "
- ENJOY THE POWER AND BEAUTY OF YOUR YOUTH
- DON'T WORRY ABOUT YOUR FUTURE - it will come either way
- DO ONE THING EVERYDAY THAT SCARES YOU
- SING!
- DON'T BE CARELESS ABOUT OTHERS HEARTS
- YOU DON'T HAVE TO CARE ABOUT THE ONES THAT ARE CARELESS WITH YOUR HEART
- DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME WITH JEALOUSY ( you are jealous only if you are selfish, if you love someone, you set them free, and you are happy if they are happy)
- SOMETIMES YOU ARE BEHIND, SOMETIMES YOU ARE AHEAD, THE RACE IS LONG, BUT IN THE END IT'S ONLY WITH YOU
- REMEMBER THE COMPLIMENTS ( but also appreciate every one with a thank you)
- FORGET THE INSULTS
- DON'T FEEL GUILTY IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT TO DO AND WHERE YOU WANT TO GO WITH YOUR LIFE ( nobody really does, and if they have an idea, they change it or it gets changed with the passing of time)
- WHATEVER YOU DO DON'T CONGRATULATE YOURSELF TOO MUCH
- DON'T TURN ON YOURSELF
- ENJOY YOUR BODY, USE IT IN ANY WAY POSSIBLE, DON'T BE AFRAID OF IT OR OF WHAT OTHERS MIGHT SAY ABOUT IT - IT'S THE MOST MAGNIFICENT INSTRUMENT YOU WILL EVER OWN!
- DANCE!
- KNOW THE RULES - EVEN IF YOU DON'T RESPECT THEM
- KNOW YOUR PARENTS...YOU DON'T KNOW WHEN THEY'LL BE GONE
- BE GOOD TO YOUR SIBLINGS - THEY ARE YOUR CONNEXION WITH YOUR PAST, AND PROBABLY THE ONLY ONES THAT WILL BE THERE FOR YOU IN THE FUTURE
- UNDERSTAND THAT FRIENDS COME AND GO, THERE ARE FEW THOSE PRECIOUS THAT YOU SHOULD HANG ON TO
- TRAVEL!
- ACCEPT SOME HURTFUL TRUTHS
- YOU TOO WILL GET OLD
- RESPECT OTHERS - OR YOU WILL NOT BE SEEN AS A PERSON THAT DESERVES RESPECT
- DON'T MESS WITH YOUR HAIR - OR BY THE AGE OF 40 YOU WILL LOOK LIKE 85
- BE CAREFUL OF THE ADVICES YOU FOLLOW- BUT BE PATIENT WITH THE ONES THAT OFFER THEM
- DON'T HIT FIRST- VIOLENCE DOESN'T LEAD TO A RESULT ( but if you get hit, hit back, and hit twice, there was no reason in the first place to be hit)
- A WORD CAN HURT MORE THAT A PUNCH
- LOVE!
- FALL IN LOVE - AT LEAST ONCE IN YOUR LIFE, THE FEELING IS THE ONLY ONE CAPABLE TO DRUG YOU IN SUCH A MANNER - BUT LEARN TO LET GO UNTIL IT'S TOO LATE IF SOMETHING DOESN'T SEEM TO GET RESOLVED - IF NOT, YOU WILL BE CAUGHT FOR GOOD "
joi, 14 februarie 2008
March 2007...just me
" I have never felt suffocated by envy
I never felt forced to quit
I have never felt my legs shaking in front of danger
I have never seen myself run when others were bolting
I have never thought of backing down from a challenge
I don't feel I have the will to abandon
I HAVE CONFIDENCE IN MYSELF
I HAVE THE POWER TO BREAK THOUGH
I know how to defend myself- with my words and with my punches
I know how to forgive- it doesn't mean I'll also do it
I am humble - to a certain level
I respect you- if you respect my people and me
I am not able to forget."
a time when I had a breakthrough about a bit of my personality.
I never felt forced to quit
I have never felt my legs shaking in front of danger
I have never seen myself run when others were bolting
I have never thought of backing down from a challenge
I don't feel I have the will to abandon
I HAVE CONFIDENCE IN MYSELF
I HAVE THE POWER TO BREAK THOUGH
I know how to defend myself- with my words and with my punches
I know how to forgive- it doesn't mean I'll also do it
I am humble - to a certain level
I respect you- if you respect my people and me
I am not able to forget."
a time when I had a breakthrough about a bit of my personality.
March 9 2007
" The reality of the people in your life and what they are for fact in your eyes never ment the same thing. In childhood you don't see the lie or the second layer of skin attached to the one in front of you, that might be the closest of your friends - reason why it is considered the time of innocence- or naivety. You grow faster or slower (but forced though this fragile part of your life either way)and you drive yourself unwillingly to see an unknown face of the same people you knew maybe most of your life- a face that thou you didn't wish to be brought to surface- is the extent of what reality is really all about.
The diversity of appearance, when you get to the actual truth, hits harder and more painful than any punch in the face.
The bruises aren't visible to the surface, but they hurt as hell.
Stop expecting a positive reaction from my side, you won't find it there anymore. The forgiving mask stays, but I'll bite from behind it, and the bite marks remain. I'll take you slowly, but it will be eternal.
I have hidden my grief enough, and once you feel the sweet taste of revenge it is more than stupidity to go back to what people expect you to do. I stop sitting on the side-line. Predictability isn't on my side...so I won't use it in your favor. Sorry, but you'll regret trying something with me. I got fed up with it, and you're too many- if not all- that want the pink view from my personality, you won't obtain anything but appearances. No". From now on you will find that as very often used in my dictionary. And I will seem sweeter than honey- reason why the abruptness will be more sudden. Beautiful- that's all I can say. The deceitfulness of life is defined by beauty. Nothing is beautiful unless we make it that way.
Life isn't ugly, but it's bitter with disgust.
Everything passes with time. Yes, people pass, time passes, life goes with it. The bitchiness with which it takes you from the back, even the closest friend, stays on every road walked throughout life.
Time to face it. I left it pass for too long, closed my eyes and say it was nothing, closed my mouth and smiled and made you think there is no reason to get upset. Do you feel it now? I'm not leaving. I'm going straight ahead."
The diversity of appearance, when you get to the actual truth, hits harder and more painful than any punch in the face.
The bruises aren't visible to the surface, but they hurt as hell.
Stop expecting a positive reaction from my side, you won't find it there anymore. The forgiving mask stays, but I'll bite from behind it, and the bite marks remain. I'll take you slowly, but it will be eternal.
I have hidden my grief enough, and once you feel the sweet taste of revenge it is more than stupidity to go back to what people expect you to do. I stop sitting on the side-line. Predictability isn't on my side...so I won't use it in your favor. Sorry, but you'll regret trying something with me. I got fed up with it, and you're too many- if not all- that want the pink view from my personality, you won't obtain anything but appearances. No". From now on you will find that as very often used in my dictionary. And I will seem sweeter than honey- reason why the abruptness will be more sudden. Beautiful- that's all I can say. The deceitfulness of life is defined by beauty. Nothing is beautiful unless we make it that way.
Life isn't ugly, but it's bitter with disgust.
Everything passes with time. Yes, people pass, time passes, life goes with it. The bitchiness with which it takes you from the back, even the closest friend, stays on every road walked throughout life.
Time to face it. I left it pass for too long, closed my eyes and say it was nothing, closed my mouth and smiled and made you think there is no reason to get upset. Do you feel it now? I'm not leaving. I'm going straight ahead."
March 2007
"-Think:
come on sweetheart, let's adore one another before there is no more of you and me
a mirror tells the truth, look at your grim face brighten up and cast away your bitter smile
a generous friend gives life for a friend, let's rise above this animalistic behavior and be kind to one another
spite darkens friendships, why not cast away malice from our hearts
once you think of me, dead and gone, you will make up with me, you will miss me, even adore me
why be a worshiper of the dead, think of me as a goner come and make up now
since you will come and throw kisses at my tombstone later why not give them to me now, this is me that same person
i may talk too much but my heart is silence, what else can i do , i am condemned to live this life
( to someone that will never know of me while I am still alive, to someone who will realise my purpose in his life once I'm gone...)"
come on sweetheart, let's adore one another before there is no more of you and me
a mirror tells the truth, look at your grim face brighten up and cast away your bitter smile
a generous friend gives life for a friend, let's rise above this animalistic behavior and be kind to one another
spite darkens friendships, why not cast away malice from our hearts
once you think of me, dead and gone, you will make up with me, you will miss me, even adore me
why be a worshiper of the dead, think of me as a goner come and make up now
since you will come and throw kisses at my tombstone later why not give them to me now, this is me that same person
i may talk too much but my heart is silence, what else can i do , i am condemned to live this life
( to someone that will never know of me while I am still alive, to someone who will realise my purpose in his life once I'm gone...)"
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